Fairy genome sequenced, claim researchers

The American Biotech company Life Technologies have sequenced the fairy genome, researchers have claimed.

In an exclusive interview with The Science Web, they have talked about how the newly sequenced genome clearly places fairies within the “mythical creature” clade of human evolution, having compared the new genome extensively with pixies, Lilliputians and The Borrowers.

Sources at the company, which owns the Ion Torrent and Ion Proton DNA sequencing platforms, said “This is a huge step forward in mythical genomics, and positions the Ion Torrent and Ion Proton platforms as the technology of choice for those wishing to produce mythical DNA sequence”.

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Using the software Badtree, researchers managed to firmly place the genome within the mythical creatures clade.  Fairies and pixies are closely related, but both are mythical creatures and are quite distant from the human-like Lilliputians and The Borrowers.  The Big Foot genome is currently assumed to be that of Melba Ketchum, with a few edits made in Word

Dr Jorge Birch, technical director of Mythomics, a new company set up to aid the interpretation of mythical genome data, added “The genomes of mythical organisms have been ignored for some time.  Whilst Illumina and Complete Genomics have made great strides in sequencing actual, real genomes, they have neglected the very large mythical genomics market.  Just look at Mordor and The Shire – huge markets!  And I already have a beard, which is important.  With the publication of the fairy genome, Life Technologies have stolen a march and now lead the world in the production of mythical DNA sequence data”.

Not everyone is convinced, however.  When we contacted him for comment, Dr Rick Slowman, of the University of Birmingham, said “Wait, what?  What on Earth are you talking about?” and put the phone down.

It’s clear there are still some disagreements in the scientific community over the use of mythical DNA sequence data.  However, with Illumina announcing the $1000 genome recently, the markets responded well to Ion Torrent’s new direction and share prices rose 1576% on the news.

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2 Responses to Fairy genome sequenced, claim researchers

  1. Pingback: God to introduce new base | The Science Web

  2. Pingback: Fairy genome sequenced, claim researchers | Too...

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