The R-help mailing list is to adopt cage-fighting as its preferred method of conflict resolution, a source has revealed.
The R-help mailing list is one of the most psychologically violent environments on the planet, and UN peacekeepers have been patrolling the list since 2007. It is most commonly used by a dedicated bunch of psychopaths to find potential victims, and occasionally provide advice on statistics. Users are subjected to a wide range of passive and actual aggression until they eventually succumb and read the tortuous documentation.
“Cage-fighting is one of the most violent sports on the planet” said The Rock, former wrestler and founder of R-help. “Therefore it makes sense for us to use this extreme sport as a means of resolving conflict. I know quite a few people who are looking forward to going bare-knuckle with some of the other moderators on there”.
The R statistics package is a free software tool designed by sadistic psychology professors to find the exact point at which PhD students’ minds collapse under stress. It is so difficult to master that the authors of the software had to invent a super-intelligent robot, Hadley Wickham, to understand exactly how the loose collection of poorly defined functions actually worked.