Genetic basis of disease directly related to size of investment, say Broad

Cambridge.  The genetic basis of a disease has been found to be directly correlated with how much you are willing to invest in research into that disease, researchers at The Broad Institute have found.

With DNA sequencing now being cheaper than a bag of chips, there is a renewed pressure to sequence things to balance the books.

“The fact is, most interesting things have been sequenced” our source said “and there’s no money to sequence the stuff that’s left.  So we have to find more and more ridiculous reasons to sequence humans” they continued.

Professor Lord Admiral Vaig Venter started the trend, hypothesizing that simply by sequencing 1000s of old people we will somehow be able to lengthen their lives.

“It doesn’t matter what the disease is, what matters is the size of your investment.  You got 300 million and your kid died of gout in the 1930s?  Let’s sequence people with gout.  You got 700 million and an unfortunate family resemblance to Homer Simpson?  It’s in the DNA, let’s sequence it.  What you people don’t realise is, it doesn’t matter what we’re talking about, everything has a genetic basis – as long as you sequence it” our source finished.

The Science Web has heard rumours that “everything has a genetic basis – as long as you sequence it” will become the new slogan at The Broad Institute.

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One Response to Genetic basis of disease directly related to size of investment, say Broad

  1. Nils says:

    Hi there to Science Web! I would like to know if the “Gene” that is reponsible for the replacement of a shark’s teeth, been identified yet? If it has that would be a major breakthrough! Not good news for dentists, though! Best Regards Nils

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