BREAKING NEWS: ThermoFisher who own Life Technologies who own Ion Torrent have announced that the fabled P2 chip for their sequencing technology will be available “tomorrow” and that the P3 chip will be available “the day after”.
When asked if that means the P2 chip will be available in 24 hours time, our source said “No, you don’t understand. The P2 chip will be available tomorrow. Ask us again in 24 hours time, and the answer will be the same – the P2 chip will be available tomorrow. Same with the P3. It will arrive exatcly 1 day after the P2 chip – the day after tomorrow”
In other news, the company announced that their HiQ chemistry consisted of billions of nanobots that have systematically removed all indels from every life form on Earth, which means that it no longer matters that the PGM and proton cannot detect them reliably