NGS all a dream, everyone has to go back to using Staden

CAMBRIDGE.  The wonderful world of second- and third- generation sequencers has all been a huge dream caused by a mass psychosis induced simultaneously in thousands of scientists because no-one at the Sanger Centre ever answered their e-mails, The ScienceWeb has learned.

The result is that everyone is going to have to go back to using Staden, staring intently at green, red, black and blue bumps and trying desperately to figure out if they mean anything.

But not everyone was sad at the news.  “Those were the days!” said Peter Curry, who announced plans to reform the HGMP at Hinxton.  “Back in the day when genomics was done by literally 100s of scientists sat in a big room staring at Staden all day.  Wonderful times.  Ahhhh, this is great news!”

“There have been clues!” said Rick Slowman of the Birmingham Institute.  “I mean, at the end there, we had a tiny USB-powered sequencer.  Of course that’s a dream, I mean, how could that be real?”

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