SWITZERLAND. After yet another case of doctored gels identified in high impact publications, molecular biologists have finally admitted that there are only 3 genuine gel images in the world.
“It’s time to come clean” said Olivier Voinnet, an expert with Adobe Photoshop. “There are only 3 real, genuine gel images in the world, produced by Ed Southern in the 1970s – every single gel image published since has been falsely created in Photoshop using those three as a source” he finished.
“It turns out that even Ed Southern only got it to work once” said Ivan Oransky, author at RetractionWatch and currently under FBI protection somewhere in Tahiti. “So Northerns and Westerns are made up too – basically, they just turned the original gels round so they looked like they were going in a different direction” he finished.
“What does it matter?” said Dr Joan Fake, head of the Institute for Scientists. “Gels are mostly used to confirm results from other experiments these days, and we still have the other experiment. Why does it matter if scientists fiddle with stuff to make it look good? It’s as much a part of the scientific method as testing a hypothesis” she finished