We’re all completely ****ed and everything is pointless, study finds

UK.  In one of the largest personality surveys ever carried out, it has been found that no-one gives a shit about anyone else and people largely only care about their own selfish, crappy lives and bigoted opinions.

The study, called “The UK General Election 2015”, proposed that a series of joke idiots be voted in as Prime Minister.  They were all matched for stupidity and unlikability, yet differed in their key personality traits, such as whether they like other people or whether they would care for the poor.

Overwhelmingly, the UK public voted for the idiot that most matched their own selfish needs and unsupported bigotry, confirming once and for all that we are all completely ****ed and that everything is pointless.

“We put one idiot in there who was so unlikable, we thought it was the control group.  His views were that he would dismantle a free healthcare system and take all the money from poor people and give it to the rich” a source told The Science Web “You know what?  He only went and bloody won!  The most unlikable twat with the most hateful opinions and most punchable face won!  If we needed any more confirmation that the vast majority of the human species are selfish numptys, this is it” they continued.

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