Daily Roundup: aliens already have sequencers in space; Thermo to launch Ion Torrent into stratosphere; Scientists predict space bugs

TheScienceWeb daily round-up

Aliens have responded to the news that Oxford Nanopore and NASA are to send USB sequencers into space by saying that they’ve had sequencers in space for thousands of years and are amused by the efforts of tiny humans.

“I think it is wonderful that finally humanity is catching up” said Zarg, Chief Scientist of the Zargonian fleet.  “They are only a few thousand years late.  The tiny MinION USB sequencer may be light-years ahead of anything else on Earth, but it is still a long way from matching our Zargonian technology.  We’ve been sequencing space for 1000s of years, there’s nothing up here except Bradyrhizobium” (s)he finished (Ed: it was impossible to tell)

In related news, Thermo Fisher have decided to launch Ion Torrent into the stratosphere.  A representative had this to say: “After ONT’s decision to launch a MinION into space, we had an idea – why don’t we launch Ion Torrent into space too?  I don’t mean one sequencer – I mean the entire f*cking company.  Let’s just get rid of it, turn it into space junk and pretend this whole sorry mess never happened”

Finally, a group from the Institute of Psychic Microbiology have predicted the entire list of bacteria that ONT and NASA are likely to find in space.  Table 1 in this paper, published even before the ONT/NASA collaboration was announced, predicts all of the genera likely to be found in space.  “I see the future” said Spikey Mox, one of the leaders of the study from King’s University Imperial College of London.  “I see the future” he repeated, “and it’s yellow” he finished, mysteriously.

 

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