At nanopore hackathon, PacBio turn up with sweets

Birmingham, UK.  At a hackathon to develop software for oxford nanopore sequence data organised by Dr Rick Slowman yesterday, attendees were shocked to find that PacBio had turned up unexpectedly and started offering everyone sweets.

The hackathon involved some of the finest minds in bioinformatics, as well as a range of hangers on.  However, all were shocked when, uninvited, PacBio attack-bot Racing Jason turned up with candy and offered it to everyone.

“It was weird – at first we were really scared” said Dr Slowman. “We all knew how dangerous he could be after his relentless-but-passive-aggressive attacks on Twitter, but he was all smiles and asked if we could all be friends” he finished, slowly.

“Racing Jason” was formerly thought to be a hyper-intelligent AI that existed only in graph-space, producing ever more complex assembly graphs that few humans could understand.  However, in recent years, he has turned up at meetings as an actual, 3D person.  His appearance at the nanopore hackathon is surprising given his stated hatred of the technology.

“After the initial shock” continued Dr Loose Matt (a co-organised of the hackathon) “we all decided to try his sweets.  They tasted really nice, and made you think that you could do a lot with such beautiful sweets.  But they were really huge, massive unwieldy things – you couldn’t fit them in your mouth.   Racing Jason suggested we should build a new mouth just to fit the sweets in. Really expensive too” he finished.

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