Scientists to start just making shit up

Baltimore. After the revelation from this years ASHG that “scientists” had associated epigenetic noise with homosexuality in a poorly conceived, really bad study, it has been revealed that a small but significant number of scientists are now just making shit up.

“Why bother with real science, with study design, sample recruitment, expensive experiments and analysis when you can just make stuff up instead?” said one ASHG attendee we found lost amongst the posters (technically America’s largest forest)

“What we’re dealing with here is Science 2.0” said Leonid Krnocluehowyousaythat, Fresh Prince of LA.  “You see, science 2.0 does away with the traditional paradigm of hypothesis, experiment, results, conclusions.  Science 2.0 is much more agile than traditional science.  In science 2.0, conclusions come first, and the data, results and experiments are manipulated to support the conclusions.  It has the advantage of not being based on facts, which really limited the appeal of Science 1.0.”

Krnocluehowyousaythat continued “Science 2.0 also maximizes impact by going straight to press release, skipping the costly and time-intensive step of peer review, or any kind of external validation.”

Krnocluehowyousaythat, who won some kind of prize at ASHG but doesn’t like to talk about it, then muttered something about yeast and how he was doing really important work, but we weren’t listening because we were reading a Nature News piece about alien DNA.

 

 

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