Perl 6 just Perl 5 with ‘use strict’ turned on

Brussels.  To the amazement and disappointment of software developers throughout the world, Perl guru Larry Wall has revealed that Perl 6, a language 15 years in development, will simply be Perl 5 with the “use strict;” directive turned on.

Perl 6 development was announced in 2000 and began with a request for comments (RFCs).  An immediate problem became apparent as the Perl community systematically removed every single feature of the language through those RFCs, which would effectively destroy the language.

The current version, Perl 5, is a favorite of  nihilist software developers and people who simply want to see the world burn.  The syntax is so loosely defined tha any text file will be executed by the interpreter as long as there is a semi-colon at the end of each line.  It is impossible to know what any script will do until it has been run, which can have wide-reaching consequences.  Dodgy Perl 5 scripts were behind the financial crisis of 2008, the collapse of Enron and the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand.

The “use strict” directive forces Perl developers to act like human beings.  Therefore, instead of any number of new cool features, Perl 6 will simply be Perl 5 with this directive turned on.

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2 Responses to Perl 6 just Perl 5 with ‘use strict’ turned on

  1. Pingback: 2015.42 Unveiling | Weekly changes in and around Perl 6

  2. Pingback: 2015.43 Vernacular English | Weekly changes in and around Perl 6

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