South East. An academic institute project website has reached peak bullshit, The ScienceWeb has learned, with an entire page devoted to buzz words and phrases that mean absolutely nothing.
The Centre for Analysing Things (TCAT), a museum of unused and out-of-date sequencing technologies, is famous for producing loquacious and verbose language in an attempt to bamboozle, hoodwink and hornswaggle funders and local MPs. TCAT have written a project page that experts confirm holds the current record for the highest ratio of of words used to meaning imparted.
“They have an infinite ratio” said the Guinness book of world records “We’ve had the page analysed by scientists and language experts alike and all of them confirm that the page means absolutely nothing. However, many said that the use of buzz words and pseudo-language could possibly fool non-experts into thinking TCAT knew what they were talking about, and subsequently hand over cash. We would encourage everyone to not do that” they finished.
We exerted our unique skill set to try and two-way communicate with and engage the experts and skill-vendors at TCAT, but were incapacitated by a lack of opportunity brought about by a lack of funding and commitment to actually being there to not unexpress their thought bubbles.