Owners of Illumina MiniSeq delighted at shitter, more expensive data

San Diego.  Early adopters of the Illumina MiniSeq platform have reported that they are “absolutely delighted” that they are now capable of producing much shitter data than their University genomics facility, and at a far higher price.

Professor Stupid, one of the first to buy a MiniSeq, said “Well I had a bit of money left over in a grant that I needed to spend and now I have a beautiful MiniSeq!  It’s wonderful!  Shiny with flashing lights….”

At this stage Prof Stupid paused.  Frowning, he continued “However, it turns out that you need someone who can actually create something called ‘a library’, and then someone who can analyse ‘data’.  I hadn’t factored this in.  Still, I have a student with a few years left on their PhD and we’ve been able to generate a few truly awful reads, so I am happy with our 4 months of work so far” he finished.

Dr Dumb, who works at a high profile University with one of the most successful genomics facilities in the US said: “I was fed up having to wait 6 weeks for my data.  6 weeks?  Who do they think they are?  So I got me a MiniSeq, and as long as I don’t count the cost of staff time, compute time and research overheads, we are almost as cheap as the facility!  Plus I get my data in 4 weeks instead of 6 – well, that is as long as the damn thing works, which it never does – and well, we have nowhere to store the data so we’re spending $100s per run on USB hard disks – but it’s great.  It really is”.

After interviewing Dr Dumb, we left the lab and couldn’t help but notice a NextSeq 500, covered in dust under a tarpaulin by the door.

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One Response to Owners of Illumina MiniSeq delighted at shitter, more expensive data

  1. lyampolsky says:

    never seen the word shitter in the meaning shittier

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